Feeling all types of ways rite now
- I left my favorite pair of underwear at your house. I know your mother hates me, can I come pick them up?
- It’s been almost a month and I still miss you like a fucking limb.
- I didn’t know my bones could ache until I met you.
- You know, a week before we broke up, do you remember? I had bought a book of poetry. You asked why I didn’t read something more interesting and I could feel my insides splinter.
- You said poetry was all lies dressed up to sound pretty. When I look at you these days, I want to ask if sadness sounds pretty to you too.
- It’s 3 a.m. and this alcohol tastes like you.
- I saw you staring at me today during Lit class. I smiled at you and you didn’t smile back. I almost cried.
- The girl who sits next to me smells like you.
- I miss you.
- I have never had so many bad nights.
- Sometimes I write poetry about you on the internet. Strangers who have never met either of us think you’re cruel – they tell me if they had the honor of loving me, we’d have sex three times a day and they’d scream my name when they came.
- They think it is beautiful, how I am broken. I don’t think they understand.
- You used to tell me I was beautiful. I tried saying it in the mirror the other day, but it sounded wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
- Everything I say sounds wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
- We were never in love, but, oh God, we could have been.
|*Man walks into a store and finds employee*|
|Man:||Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!|
|Employee:||Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?|
|Man:||I never filled out an application.|
|Employee:||Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.|
|Man:||No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!|
|Employee:||Well, but that doesn't-|
|Man:||AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!|
|Employee:||But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.|
|Man:||OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!|
|Employee:||Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?|
|Man:||Well no, but what does that matter?|
|Employee:||...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.|
|Man:||Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.|
|Employee:||That...doesn't make any sense.|
|Man:||NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.|
|Man:||Fuck you, slut.|